The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge
by momoko775PennilessPoetess
Summary: (NEW! CH. 6!!!)Harry Potter and his friends embark on an adventure to France for the summer, but with a sneeze, they end up at the Moulin Rouge in 1899! And with THE evil ring, the Harry and the Rouge gang are in for an adventure! MR/HP/LOTR spin-off
1. Achoo!

A/N- Hey guys. Well, me and my friend Nicole (nikkime - AKA Nikki Weasley) and I (I have assumed the pen name of Penniless Poetess) have collaborated to write a fanfic one day in Civics class. I'm the Moulin Rouge junky and she's the Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings junky. She's also going to post it in the HP section. Ok, now to get on with business. It WILL get more Rougey, but right now things are pretty Harry. Hehehe. Ok, so that was corny, but.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters. I don't own any Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. We do not own anything except for the plot!  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge  
  
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Chapter One:  
  
"Harry! Get down here, it's time to go!" Hermione's impatient voice drifted up the stairs.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed his heavy trunk to lug down the stairs, wishing it were lighter and mumbling about how he wished he could use magic in the summer.  
  
By the time he stepped of the last stair and into the Weasley's kitchen, Ron and Hermione were waiting for him, all ready to go. Hermione held in her hand the floo powder that they would need, as none of them had passed their apparation test yet.  
  
"About time you showed up," Ron teased. "We thought you'd changed your mind about coming. We were just about to go France without you!"  
  
"Haha, funny Ron. I'm here now! Let's go then, shall we?" Harry reached for some floo powder and threw it into the fireplace. The flames immediately glowed bright green, and the three of them stepped in.  
  
Harry and Hermione screamed, but Ron, at that moment sneezed because of the ashes. They all began to spin faster and faster, and then after a few minutes, they abruptly landed in a tiny fireplace.  
  
"Hmm," Ron murmured, inspecting their quarters. "I'm so glad that sneezing didn't throw everything off; this is just where we should be!" His eyes darted toward a counter with a bowl of fruit and he skipped over toward it and grabbed an apple. The fruit dangling just moments from his teeth, he noticed he was not alone in the room.  
  
The scowling Argentinean, with thick black hair and a moustache, rose from a crumbling chair and standing more than six feet tall.  
  
"Vhat are you doing in Toulouse's studio?!" he yelled with a heavy accent.  
  
Ron ran away from the man who was towering over him, and cowered behind Hermione.  
  
"Well, we just." Harry started.  
  
"Geet out!" he roared. "Or else I'll call the." He stopped in the middle of his sentence, his eyes crossing. He froze in motion and fell to the floor face first.  
  
Harry and his friends held their breath as they watched in horror.  
  
"Ron, look what you did!" Hermione screeched, her eyes wide. "You k-k-k-k-k- ."  
  
"You killed him!" Harry yelled, finishing Hermione's sentence.  
  
Ron's mouth hung open. "Me?!"  
  
Hermione nodded. "Yes! You scared him to d-d-d-d-d-"  
  
"Death!" Harry finished.  
  
"You think HE was the one scared to death?!" Ron exclaimed. "Why would he be afraid of me? I was the one who was scared!"  
  
"Yes, but you're not the one lying face down in the middle of the room!" Hermione yelled.  
  
Ron gave Hermione an exasperated look. "Well... ok... maybe you're right... but now what do we do?" he asked her.  
  
" 'We'? Excuse me, but I was not the one-"  
  
Harry silenced her with his hand on her mouth. "He mentioned someone named 'Toulouse', right?" His friends nodded in agreement.  
  
"What if he's bigger than that guy?" Ron wondered out loud. "And what if he's meaner and angrier? What if he wants to take vengeance out on anyone who dares to mess with his friend, be it some kids who are just out to spend their summer vacation in France while they're away from their magical high school in England and would beat us up on the spot and k-k-k-k-k-"  
  
"Well I don't know about you, but I don't want to stick around to see this 'Toulouse."  
  
And so they dash out of the large, cluttered studio and step out on the rain-drizzled pavement.  
  
Hermione raised her hand. "What is that?"  
  
A bright, red lit windmill stood in front of them, turning. Dance music blared and echoed from inside.  
  
Harry squinted to see the words under the windmill. "Moulin. Rouge," he read. "Wait, isn't that."  
  
Ron's eyes grew wide and his limbs slumped. "The dirtiest night club in France," he breathed, drooling. "Women. the can-can. booze." He jumped up with the enthusiasm of a newborn puppy. "Can we go? Please? Come on, guys, can we go?"  
  
Hermione shook her head with a sigh. "Guys are so stupid," she muttered under her breath.  
  
Ron glared at her, and then turned his attention back to Harry. "There are lots of people in there! Toulouse won't find us in there!"  
  
"Well." Harry started to say, but before he could say more Ron clicked his heals together and ran toward the windmill. 


	2. What do you do with a drunken sailor?

A/N- Sorry this was so prolonged. Homework is a killer. Nikki told me to get my butt in gear (which is a weird imagery.) and so I came up with. dun dun dun. ::uses scary voice:: chapter two. I just crack myself up sometime. Ok, well. anyway, on with the show.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters. I don't own any Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. We do not own anything except for the plot! And I used Greg's pick up line form the Brady Bunch movie. And the kiddalinkers get drunk. Hope no one is offended.  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge  
  
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Chapter Two:  
  
"Doesn't any of this seem. a little strange to you?" Hermione asked, looking at her surroundings. She gasped as a woman jumped around on stage, lifting her skirt in the air. "I HAVE read about the Moulin Rouge, and this DOES happen here, but everything here just looks so. different. Am I right, or is it just." she looked around from side to side but no where could she find Harry or Ron, ".me. Where did they go?"  
  
"Hey there groovy chick," someone whispered from behind Hermione. "You're really happenin' in a far out kind of way."  
  
Hermione whirled around, wondering who would ever use that bad of a pick up line and her eyes widened, and looked down at an old hobbit. His wild hair was parted and fanning out in both direction and raised his hairy hands, clutching a cup of some booze, at her. "So." he started, his voice and breath giving off the impression he was drunk. "What's a place like you, doing in a girl like this?"  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"The name's Baggins. Bilbo Baggins." He thrust a hairy hand into her face and Hermione shook it cautiously. "You know, you're a very beautiful woman."  
  
Hermione took a step back as he leaned forward, and she noticed that his feet matched his hands, and he wore no shoes.  
  
"Would you marry me?" the hobbit asked with a slurred tongue, grabbing her left hand and thrusting a gold ring on her ring finger.  
  
Suddenly, all around her, everything turned pale, the space between her and the people around her seemed to increase until she was nearly ten feet away from Mr. Baggins. She could hear him calling to her, but his voice seemed far away and distant. Replacing his voice were soft whispers, hissing and sending a shiver down her spine. As she looked around, the room seemed as if it was simply fading away, leaving her behind.  
  
"Beautiful lady?" the hobbit called, throwing his hand in the air and spilling the liquor from his cup. "Where did you go?" he yelled. "I'm not that bad lookin'! There are still some miles left on these tires.!" He looked around for a second and then shrugged and whooped and hollered at the women performing on stage and pushed to get closer to them.  
  
"What?" Hermione wondered, taking the ring off her finger. Everything had turned to how it was before - the music was cranked loud and the smell of liquor and sweat was in the air. She placed the ring on her palm and inspected it.  
  
It was a plain gold ring, nothing extraordinary about it. So boring, nothing special. But something was different about it. Something. inside her wanted the ring. Her fingers were aching for it to be back on her finger.  
  
"Hermione, there you are!" Harry yelled, placing a hand on her shoulder, taking Hermione out of her trance.  
  
"Where WERE you two?" she demanded, placing the ring in her pocket.  
  
"Slobber-boy here jumped on the bar, and, well." He brought Ron forward and Hermione hid her laugh behind the back of her hand.  
  
"Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir," he sang, swaying from side to side. His shirt was stretched out and his cheek was slightly bruised. "Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada. Mocha Chocalata ya ya." He waved his hands and shuffled his feet, trying to do the same dance as the women and only looking ridiculous.  
  
"How many drinks did he HAVE?" she asked.  
  
Harry shrugged. "I don't know, but the bartender was threatening to drag him to jail and so I, uh. got him out."  
  
There was something he wasn't telling her. "Did you use magic, Harry?"  
  
Harry looked at the ground. "Not. ALL that much." Yelling behind him made him look up. "We better get out of here. QUICK, before that guy spots us!"  
  
Hermione turned to look over her shoulder and see who the man was, but Harry grabbed her arm and began to run, obviously scared of whatever strength these strange people possessed. Ron wobbled along behind them, not completely understanding why he was running.  
  
After weaving their way through the crowd, pushing dancers, avoiding the more threatening-looking drunks, they finally got outside of the building. They had hoped that the pursuer would stop once they got outside, but kept running, just in case. As the door swung open, Harry and Hermione ducked behind a tall hedge. The man looked out, hair tousled from the frantic crowd, and tried to find the kids that were getting drunk inside the club. Hermione peeked over the hedge and saw the man, then grabbed the back of Ron's Chudley Cannons shirt and pulled him into hiding with them.  
  
After it seemed that the man had given up and went inside, the three of them turned to each other, fear evident in Harry and Hermione's faces (Ron's statement hadn't changed since he'd been dancing with the girls). "What if he comes back?" whispered Hermione. "And with more people! Big strong men, like that Toulouse fellow!"  
  
Harry bit his lip and looked away from the Moulin Rouge. His eyes landed on something in the distance and he exclaimed, "There! That... that big elephant... thing. We can hide there!"  
  
"HARRY!" Hermione tried to caution him, "we can't go there! It's-"  
  
"Listen, I don't care if it's the Chamber of Secrets! COME ON!" Once again, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. They began to run towards the elephant and he patted the elephant, looking for a door. Ron was wondering around and collapsed onto on of the legs.  
  
"Hello there," he whispered. "And you are.?"  
  
Hermione stamped her foot. "Ron!" she hissed, coming to his side to quiet him. She pulled him to his feet and slung one of his arms around her shoulders, but something shiny caught her eyes. "Harry!"  
  
"What?" he asked absently, still searching.  
  
"I found the doorknob!"  
  
Harry came to her side and took Ron's other arm. He opened the door, which led to red, narrow stairs. Hermione stepped into the stairs first, sideways, helping Ron up, and Harry followed in rear.  
  
They came to another door, this time gold block with flowers and Indian designs chiseled onto it. Hermione grabbed the gold doorknob and flung it open, only to stifle a little scream and drop Ron's arm.  
  
Harry fell back against the wall, almost falling down the stairs. "Hermione."  
  
"Hello there," Ron drawled, grabbing a hold of Harry's head and blowing on it. "You missed a spot, mister."  
  
He pushed Ron's red head out of his way and saw what she was looking at. The window cut into a heart, a large locket decorating it, a red velvet bed, a statue of an elephant, paintings of Indian art, incense burning in the corner of the room.  
  
"Wh-" was all Harry got out as Hermione let out a little squeal and ventured into the room, picking up a perfume bottle she found and sprayed it to her neck. Harry dragged Ron into the room and laid him on the bed, Ron mumbling something about 'you won't fool the children of the revolution' and Harry joined Hermione in looking around.  
  
"What IS this place?" he wondered, staring at the silver statue of an elephant god.  
  
"Oh GREAT!" Hermione said, picking up a bottle. "I'm so thirsty. Hey Harry, you want some?"  
  
He nodded, studying a painting.  
  
Looking over the label on the bottle, Absinthe, Hermione poured two glasses full and handed one to Harry, staring at the painting he was looking at. In unison, they tilted their head to the side and raised the cups to their lips.  
  
Harry's mouth puckered up and he looked at Hermione with the same expression on her face. A tear came out of his eyes as he swallowed. "It's. good."  
  
She nodded slowly as she swallowed. "If you look past the bitter taste."  
  
He slowly set the cup aside. "So, what were you doing before we found you in the club?"  
  
She sighed. "Oh, nothing much. A hobbit hit on me, though."  
  
He picked up his cup and spit into it. "A hobbit?"  
  
"Yeah, he gave me this ring." She grabbed it out of her pocket and held it out to him. "It's very ugly, don't you think?"  
  
"Hmm," he murmured, picking it up and inspecting it. "It's. interesting."  
  
"Well I think it's ugly. If you like my wedding ring so much, you can have it." She turned her back to him with a smile on her face, waiting for him to react.  
  
After a prolonged silence, Harry asked, "You're married, Hermi?" he asked with a giggle. He threw his arms around in the air, picking up a scarf and wrapped it around his chin. "Oh look at me!" he shrieked. "I'm Mrs. Lil'- ol'-hobbit!"  
  
Hermione blushed and tapped her foot to the ground, giggling. It was funny the way her foot felt bouncing on the ground that made her erupt in laughs. "Look at me!" She started dancing and jumping into the air, pretending she was a tree, doing the Macarena, making the weirdest faces she could think of, and the strangest sounds.  
  
Harry fell to the floor laughing, his face turning red and tears coming into his eyes. "And." he said between a laugh. "And then. they go poof!" he yelled, talking about nothing in particular.  
  
Hermione nodded back to him, rolling over with laughter. She gripped the wall for balance to stand. "You're. you're down there." she laughed, "and I'm up here."  
  
Harry and Hermione laughed even harder.  
  
Hermione grabbed a red scarf and draped it over her head. "Look, I'm Ron!" she squawked, venturing over to his snoring body. "Hello there ol' chap!" she said in an over exaggerated British accent. She put her thumbs and pointer fingers in the shape of glasses. "Look, I'm Harry!"  
  
Harry laughed, rising from the floor shakily and pretended he was on a broom, 'flying' over toward the bed and collapsing onto the foot, falling with a snore.  
  
"Look at me. look at me." Hermione said, still laughing. She strutted her stuff to the other side of the bed and climbed onto it, her head falling to the pillow.  
  
And the children slept. 


	3. We Floo Where!

A/N- Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while... Nikki was to start this one, and we both have been extremely busy. And I'm afraid Nikki dear has lost her muse. oh yes, and she is very sad that I have so many reviews(you guy's are great!!!). so. go visit her and tell her what you think also, alright? Nikkime is her name, being cool is her game. Ok, so these are very cheesy, but how many people read these author reviews, anyway?  
  
Disclaimer- We do not own. Harry Potter or any other characters, Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. We do not own anything except for the plot! Hope no one is offended.  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge  
  
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Chapter Three  
  
The door to the red room burst open, a couple stumbled in, eyes closed, making out in each other's arms. The man, handsome, dark haired, led them over to the bed and then the woman, a beautiful red-head, pulled the two of them onto it. Their lips reunited-  
  
"Hey! Wussa' big idea? I'm tryina' sleep an' ya come an' sit on me!" Harry mumbled, squinting and reaching for his glasses.  
  
The couple looked shocked, some kid, 16 or 17 years old, was on their bed! Worse yet, there was a girl sleeping next to him! "Hey - this is our bed! What are you doing here?!" The red-head, Satine, gasped.  
  
"Mmm?" Harry murmered, still half asleep,  
  
"This is our bed! What are you doing in here? How'd you get in?" Christian asked in shock.  
  
"Oh," Harry muttered, only half understanding the situation, "Kill guy... accent... big Toulouse attack... run to elephant... big big elephant..." He yawned and rubbed forehead. "Urg. and a huge headache."  
  
"You killed someone!" Satine gasped and at the same time Christian laughed, "Toulouse? Big guy?"  
  
By this time, Hermione woke up, and rubbing her eyes, looked at the couple questioningly before realizing where she was and why they were here. "Oh! Is this your bed?"  
  
Satine looked at her with disgust, "YES! IT'S OUR BED! I THOUGHT WE'D ESHABLISHED THAT!" she hollered at Hermione, irritated with children for interrupting her romantic evening.  
  
This yelling woke up poor Ron, asleep on the floor with a massive hangover. "Gaaah! Whaat's going ooon?" He asked slowly, sitting up to look at his friends and the other two people who looked at him with frustration, he moaned with pain and longed to sleep again, but was curious as to what was happening. His eyes stumbled on Satine and he winked at her and forced a floppy grin. "How you doin'?"  
  
"Boys are so stupid." Hermione and Satine whispered in unison. They looked at each other for a second, and then started laughing.  
  
Christian coughed, poking Satine with is elbow. She coughed, forgetting they were the 'enemy' and lowered her head and squinted her eyes, giving Ron a stare that would raise the dead.  
  
Hermione, finally waking up enough to be coherent, began to explain, "I'm so sorry. We were going for a vacation, only something must have went wrong with the floo powder because someone was living in the flat that we were to stay in. I think he may have been a muggle, because when we walked out of the fireplace, he looked quite perplexed. Anyway, Ron scared him to death-"  
  
"Nooo, I didn't!" Ron yelped, waving his arms in the air, rubbing his face slowly. His fingers poked his cheeks as he pushed them up and began to giggle, falling out of the large bed and reaching for some green liquid.  
  
"Hey, don't touch that," Christian said, snatching the bottle from Ron's mouth, but it was too late - he drank the last drop. Ron laid on the ground, on his back, the bottle balancing on his mouth. He made howling noises, giggling at the echo.  
  
"Does. he do that often?" Satine asked, coming to his side. She removed the bottle from his mouth and smoothed his hair back. "Hunny, are you alright?"  
  
"Satine." Christian hissed, but she ignored him.  
  
"Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" he whispered.  
  
Satine's eyes grew wide and she stuffed the bottle back in his mouth.  
  
"Continue with your story?" Christian asked, putting his arm around Satine's waist and pulling her close to him.  
  
"Oh. yes," she said, clearing her head. "Well, when we got out of the fireplace the guy that Ron kil-"  
  
Christian and Satine exchanged confused glances.  
  
"Wait. wait. wait a minute!" Christian exclaimed. "You flew into a fireplace?"  
  
"Floo powder, you git!" Ron called, lying on the floor again, grabbing his head and holding on for dear life.  
  
"Shh, Ron!" Hermione shushed him. "You must be muggles! Terribly sorry." After receiving another blank look, she went on to explain witchcraft and wizardry, in as little detail as possible. ".and that's why we came out of the fireplace. And then since that foreigner died, his friend Toulouse, a real big guy is after us."  
  
"So..." Christian recapped, "you came out of a fireplace, killed a narcoleptic Argentinean, and hiding in an elephant from a dwarf with a lisp?"  
  
"He's narcoleptic?" Hermione understood now, she'd learned about this is muggle studies. "So he just passes out a lot? He didn't die?"  
  
"Of course not! That boy couldn't scare a flea to death much less a person! Honestly, this is ridiculous!" Satine rolled her eyes, extremely impatient.  
  
Harry was awake now, he jumped up as he caught on to something Hermione had missed. "Toulouse is a dwarf with a lisp?!" As he stood, the sheets on the bed were pulled back and the golden ring that Hermione had been given was reveled.  
  
"Hey, what's that?" Satine asked, curious about the trinket. She scooped it up to inspect it. "It's not mine. there are no diamonds on it."  
  
"What is it with women and diamonds?" Ron shouted, rolling on the floor. "WHY oh WHY?!"  
  
The four ignored Ron and Harry said, "It's just something a drunk gave to Hermione."  
  
Since none of the children seemed to care about getting the ring back, Satine continued fingering it. Odd as it was, she had the strange urge to put the dirty band onto her finger, and in curiosity, did so.  
  
Satine looked around at the world she was in, dizzy and turning. Her ears were throbbing and sounding like they were stuffed with cotton, but through a blurry haze she saw Christian running around the room, turning over everything screaming, "Satine! Satine! Don't leave me all alone. with these children!"  
  
The ring. Satine slowly lifted up her arm that had suddenly become so heavy and reached for her finger and as she removed it from her finger, the world became clearer.  
  
The threw it to the floor with a scream. "What the hell IS that thing?!"  
  
"Where'd you go?" Christian demanded, holding onto her arm, making sure she was all there.  
  
"Where. where'd I go? I went nowhere. I was here, in the room. sorta."  
  
"What was it like?" Harry asked, curiously, reaching up to grab her hand. Christian smacked it away.  
  
"Well. I'm not too good with words, so let me try to put it into a song."  
  
Christian smiled. "I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind. that I put down in words." he sang.  
  
Hermione let out a sigh. Never before had she heard such a beautiful voice, or such a beautiful song. Harry jabbed her in the ribs and she suddenly became aware that her mouth was open and she was drooling. She let out a little cough and put her sleeve up to her mouth.  
  
Satine gripped his hands, pulling them closer to her. ".How wonderful life is, now you're in the world," she sang softly, staring into his eyes lovingly.  
  
They stayed locked in each other's eyes for a while, and might have all night, but Ron started moaning on the floor, shouting something along the lines of, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts."  
  
"Dee-dully-dee," Hermione whispered under her breath.  
  
"Satine, you were saying how it was like." Harry said, reaching out for her hand again but Christian's stare told him not to.  
  
"Yes, as I was saying. With the ring, it was like."  
  
She took a deep breath and moved away from Christian, who sat down on the bed. Hermione blushed a little and sat down next to him.  
  
"Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake," she sang, throwing her hands in the air. "And everybody's empty, and everything is so messed up." She locked her eyes with Christian. "I am lost without you, I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl."  
  
Christian rose from the bed and reached out for her hands. "You could be my someone, you could be my scene. You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene. I wonder what your doing, imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far."  
  
Harry cleared his throat. "I think we got lost on the subject of the ring somewhere."  
  
"Yes, but wasn't it a beautiful song?" Hermione whispered, sighing for the fourth time in a row. Her hands were clasped under her neck and she stared after Christian.  
  
Harry shot a disgusted (not to mention jealous) glance in Hermione's direction before turning back to Satine. "Give me the ring back."  
  
She looked at him, then back at the ring, sitting in the palm of her hand. Something seemed to lure her to it, and she couldn't let go.  
  
Harry quickly reached over and snatched it from her hand, looking very smug. Satine gasped in shock and horror at this boy's terrible manners.  
  
"Excuse me!" Christian objected, "you're such a rude little boy!"  
  
"Little boy? I'm a little boy now? Well, you are not my daddy and you most certainly can't tell me how to act!"  
  
Ron rolled over again, still clutching the empty bottle, "Who's yo' daddy?"  
  
Satine tugged at Christian's arm, "Get me the ring... Please, Christian, I need it!"  
  
Christian, not wanting Satine to be upset, pried at Harry's hand, trying to open the tight fist. "Give... me... that... ring!"  
  
"Not in this lifetime!" Harry sneered, tugging away from the larger man. Slipping the ring onto his finger, he continued to taunt Christian. "Neener neener neener, you ca-an't see me!"  
  
Suddenly, Christian pounced, landing right on Harry, and continued to reach for the ring, although he couldn't see the boy he was wrestling with. Finally, the ring came off Harry's finger and Christian held it up in triumph.  
  
"Got it!"  
  
The now drunk Ron whistled with amusement, "Who's yo daddy now, bitch?"  
  
Harry reached for Christian's ring on his out stretched hand, trying to swipe it off his larger fingers. Harry started to back away with the ring more than half way up Christian's finger, but Christian made a grabbed of Harry's legs and brought him down. The wrestled on the floor.  
  
"Ooh. don't hurt him." Hermione murmured. "Come on Christian, throw him off. You can do it! I know you can!"  
  
"Kick 'em to the left. kick 'em to the right." Ron murmered, still lying on the ground. He kicked his legs into the air, doing the can can sitting down. "Kick 'em in the you-know-what and say 'haha'!"  
  
"Don't give him any ideas," Hermione said, picking up a pillow and throwing it onto him.  
  
"Let go!" Harry yelled, his hand on Christian's wrist and trying to get Christian's clenched palm, where inside was the golden band.  
  
Harry sighed and whispered something under his breath and Christian's palm opened up.  
  
"Harry!" Hermione yelled. "We're not supposed to use magic over the summer!"  
  
Christian yelled, turning away from Harry. Harry smacked his hand, and the ring flew out, gliding, gliding, gliding across the room, as if in slow motion. The two men watched in horror as the door swung open.  
  
A small man walked in, hands in the air, and managed to squeak, "Nevew feaw! Towouse is here!" before the ring slid onto his finger. With a small "poof" he disappeared from view.  
  
----------------  
  
songs used:  
  
'Your Song' By Elton John  
  
'I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts' by? But I'd really like to know.  
  
'Blurry' by Puddle Of Mud 


	4. LIKE A VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRGIN!

A/N- Wow, it has been so long. I am so sorry!! 'Tis my fault. I've been having some back problems and mom insists that 'computer posture' isn't good for my health.  
  
Disclaimer- We do not own. Harry Potter or any other characters, Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. And the little 'voodoo, who do' thing is from the (GREAT!!!) movie 'The Labyrinth'. Hope no one is offended.  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------  
  
"Toulouse. the ring," Christian said, pretending to adjust a ring on his finger.  
  
There was a long silence, with no small man appearing yet, so Satine stamped her foot. "Toulouse, Damnit, take the ring off your finger."  
  
A man, of a small stature, standing four feet eleven appeared out of nowhere. "Wow, I hewd that."  
  
"Thh!!!!!!" Ron barked, putting his wrist on the sides of his head and wiggling his fingers.  
  
"Oh, you must be dwunk." Toulouse said, hobbling toward Ron and extending a hand to him.  
  
Ron accepted, giggling, "I have toes."  
  
"Hewe, I have the pewfect thing to help you with that."  
  
"The ring," Satine said, narrowing her eyes and holding out her palm.  
  
Toulouse, shaded his eyes and handed the gold ring over, snapping his hand back when he had done so. "She scares me so." he murmured.  
  
"Cough-metoo-cough," Harry said, adverting her eyes.  
  
"Don't get me started with you," she snapped. "Whatever this thing is, we can't trust it. We don't need stupid macho fights."  
  
Christian nodded, putting his hands around her waist. Hermione looked away with a scowl. "I agree with you," he said.  
  
"And don't get me started with YOU," she said, poking Christian in the chest. "You too. I am holding the ring from now on." She moved over to her vanity and placed the ring on a gold chain and fastened it around her neck, frowning at the way it didn't match her red dress.  
  
"I love it when you act tough." Christian whispered.  
  
"Act?" she asked, hands on hips and trying to hide a smile. "I can be tough. you know I can."  
  
"Oh yes, I know." he murmured, his hands around her waist and pressing his lips to hers.  
  
"OOPS, I FELL!" Hermione yelled at the top of her lungs, falling to the floor.  
  
Harry rushed to her side and gave her his palm, and she waved it off.  
  
"Oh, no. I'm just fine," she grumbled, still seeing Satine and Christian smooch away.  
  
Ron leaned into the mirror, making faces at his reflection. He wondered over to Christian and tapped his back. "I'm HUUUUNGRY."  
  
"Eat your foot," he murmered, moving back to Satine. Satine stepped aside and he lost his balance, falling onto her vanity table.  
  
She cringed and patted his fallen head. "Sorry sweaty," she whispered, and then turning back toward the kids she said, "Hey, I was supposed to meet the Duke tonight in the Gothic Tower at eight for supper. why don't we go up there and eat? I'm sure he wouldn't mind."  
  
"Oh I hate that guy." Toulouse said, shaking his head.  
  
Christian sighed. "Come on, lets go."  
  
He held onto Ron's arm, and when Ron took a tumble, he yelled up at Christian, "Stop the shovin', start the lovin'!"  
  
"What?" Christian asked.  
  
Hermione came between them and seized Christian's now free arm. "He's silly."  
  
"Yes, but I have toes." Ron giggled.  
  
Harry kicked his rump. "Come on, get up."  
  
"Oh, he can't hewe you," Toulouse said. "Or at weast he can't understand you. Absinthe. it does stuff to your mind."  
  
Harry nodded, pretending to understand, and followed Satine out of the room, the elephant, through the gardens and up the stairs of a large brick building. "I hope you are all very hungry, there will be lots of food."  
  
Satine pushed a black curtain aside and froze. They all came to the doorway and their eye brows raised, seeing a middle aged man with straw-colored hair and a velvet robe, standing on a rolling chair being pushed to the other side of the room by a waiter in red. A man with red hair with a sheet over his head struck a pose with his leg in the air, while waiters in red holding gold candle sticks and bowls of fruit froze in similar positions.  
  
"Did we. come in a bad time?" Satine asked, laughing slightly.  
  
The man in the velvet robe, the Duke, kept on cruising across the room until the hit the carpet and was dumped off the back of it, a wooden stool breaking his fall.  
  
"We were just singing about you." the man with the sheet around him said, putting his foot on the ground. He snapped his fingers from side to side and sang, "Like a virgin." He could see they were not amused and he put his hands down in silence.  
  
"We all were hungry and." Satine twirled the ring on its chain. "Well, we were wondering if."  
  
"It's the ring!" a man shouted, coming forward. He was a waiter, wearing the same white shirt, red vest and black pants, but he was considerably older. With a white beard, a pointed nose and a long cane, he said, "My name is Gadalf. where did you get that ring?!"  
  
Satine raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"  
  
As the old man, Gandalf, pulled her aside to the corner for some privacy, the singing resumed. Of course, Christian and the whole gang followed them. "My dear beautiful lady, that ring is not an ordinary ring. It is the ONE RING!" He paused, his hands thrown out in emphasis. Everyone stared. "The One Ring!" He said again, still yielding no results. He sighed in aggravation. "You know. the ring? One? One Ring? That ring holds the power to them all."  
  
"What power?" Satine asked in amazement.  
  
"The power of vooooodoooooooo," Ron giggled.  
  
She looked at him, confused, "Who do?"  
  
"You do!" Gandalf yelled.  
  
"Do... what?"  
  
"Remind me of the babe!" Christian growled, giving her a oh-so-sexy look.  
  
Satine stared, "What babe?"  
  
"The babe with the powew!" Toulouse supplied.  
  
"WHAT POWER?" She yelled in frustration.  
  
"The power of-" Ron began before being cut off.  
  
"THE POWER PLACED IN IT BY THE EVIL LORD SAURON!" Gandalf yelled. The music stopped, the waiters stared, and then as soon as it stopped, it began again.  
  
Satine was still confused. "Evil lord who-da-what-a?"  
  
Gandalf rolled his eyes. "Sauron - deep in Mordor, many years ago, he forged a bunch of rings! Some were given to humans - all evil now. Some given to elfs and others too. But those are irrelavent! But there was something he did not tell any of them, he'd forged one special ring. One ring to rule them, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness BIND THEM! You have that ring, but he is looking for it. Bilbo, poor Bilbo had that ring. He was with Gollum, answering riddles. But Bilbo, poor Bilbo, was a raging alcoholic. He accidentally mentioned that he was going to the Moulin Rouge to marry the Sparkling Diamond. Now the evil one knows! He's coming to kill you! To rule the world! Actually, both worlds." He giggled. "Imagine that! Anyway, you must go to Mordor to cast the ring into the fire. Only there can it be disposed of!"  
  
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "That's great and all, but he gave the ring to me."  
  
Gandalf cleared his throat. "Well you'd best be off soon before he comes to kill you and take over both worlds! Go to Middle Earth to a place called Hobbiton in the Shire. A fellow named Frodo will be there. He will give you everything you need. You must go now! Hurry! There's not a second to spare!"  
  
A long silence passed, then suddenly, with a wave of a sheet, Gandalf leaped back into the array of dancing waiters screaming, "LIKE A VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRGIN!" 


	5. Bologna Toolage

A/N- Sorry for such the delay! I've been working on my own writing career lately (hehe. . . I wish), and so has Nicole. But after the football game one day WE WROTE THIS!! And now it's up for your enjoyment!  
  
Disclaimer- We do not own. Harry Potter or any other characters, Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. And I don't know any AOL s/n who's is mentioned below. Sorry it's yours. Hope no one is offended.  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------  
  
The Harry Rouge gang was stunned. But only for a couple seconds, because as the gay waiters were making their dramatic exit which consisted of high kicks, someone kicked too high and Ron fell to the floor, a dent from a high heel left on his face. After the dancers (including the Duke, Gandalf, and Zidler) had departed, the group didn't know what to do next.  
  
"Um," Harry began, "do you guys know where Middle Earth is?"  
  
"Middle Earth?" Satine asked, "Is that what that old man said? I thought it was 'Little Smurf'!"  
  
"I thought it was 'Piddle Birth!" Christian exclaimed.  
  
"I fauht it was 'surf and tuwf'!" added Toulouse.  
  
Ron rubbed his forehead where it was kicked, "I thought it was 'Bologna toolage'!"  
  
Hermione gave him a disgusted look, "Ron! Where on EARTH did you get that from?"  
  
He motioned for her to come closer, closer still, a bit closer, and he whispered to her, "It was the Lord. The Lords of the. . . of the. . . SPORKS!"  
  
"Uh, what?"  
  
He skipped off whistling 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' and frolicked around the piano.  
  
"It was Middle Earth," declared Harry. "I'm positive."  
  
"Harry," said Hermione, "I don't think so. I mean, what in the HECK is Middle Earth? Where on Earth is Middle Earth?!"  
  
"In da middew. Duh. . ." Scoffed Toulouse.  
  
"But no one lives in the middle, you dwarf muggle!" she retorted, crossing her arms. "Besides, I've never heard of Middle Earth! It wasn't in 'Geographical Landforms of the Planet Earth' OR 'Pangea: the Aftermath'."  
  
"Hermione, two words," Ron began. Everyone waited for him to tell her that she reads too much, but they weren't really surprised to hear him say, "Bologna. Toolage."  
  
Harry put his arm around Ron, "Hey, Ron? Buddy? Pal? Friend?"  
  
"Wasssup, yo?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"THE LORD OF THE SPORKS DOES NOT LIE!!!"  
  
Satine rolled her eyes. "I liked him better drunk than with a head injury."  
  
With that, Toulouse pulled a bottle of absinthe from his coat pocket. "Fthusty?"  
  
"Oui oui. . .." whined Ron, grabbing the bottle and running to sit in the corner to drink it.  
  
"I think he was already drunk." Harry shrugged. "But that doesn't matter. How are we going to get to Middle Earth?"  
  
"Floo powder?" Hermione suggested.  
  
"A train seems like a more sensible idea, don't you think?" Satine asked the group.  
  
"Hitchhike?" asked Christian, sarcastically.  
  
Satine sighed, pressing her hand to her forehead, "What did you just. . .? Christian, honey, that's really. . . umm. . ."  
  
"Stupid?" supplied Hermione, still bitter that the young writer was still ignoring her.  
  
"Waitwaitwait a minute!" Harry exclaimed thoughtfully. "It's so crazy. . . it just. . . might. . . WORK!"  
  
"What?! Let me get this straight," Satine said, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "This old, gay dancer from the Gothic Tower Prance Team sees my ring-"  
  
"Actually, it's mine," Hermione retorted.  
  
Satine continued as if she had never spoken. "And we're being led by a boy who is. . . what, 10?"  
  
Harry cleared his throat. "Well, I'm actually 16. . ."  
  
Satine continued. "And this toddler wants us to go see to some little Smurf?"  
  
"This little toddler didn't exactly say that," Harry said, glaring at her. "We're supposed to go see some hobbit named Frodo who lives in Hobbiton in the Shire!"  
  
"The Shire?" Christian asked. "Where's that?"  
  
"Haven't you been listening?" Harry groaned. "In Middle Earth! We need to take Hermy's ring-"  
  
"Hermy?" the young writer asked. "Who's Hermy?"  
  
"Hermione!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Hello," Hermione giggled, waving her fingers at him.  
  
Christian took a hold of her hand and kissed it. "It is a pleasure to meet you."  
  
She blushed and looked away.  
  
"AS I WAS SAYING," Harry continued, "we need to take the ring to the Shire which is in Middle Earth, because the trinket is flagitious and it will fill the world with unfavorable effects!"  
  
They all looked at him suspiciously for a moment, and then he said, "I've been reading a thesaurus lately. . ."  
  
A round of 'oh' filled the room.  
  
"I didn't know ten year old's could read yet," Satine said thoughtfully. "It seems like schools have been doing a great job lately."  
  
"I'M 16 YEARS OLD!!" Harry roared, becoming red in the face.  
  
Ron giggled giddily, "Our little Harry is growing up so fast!"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "We don't have time to worry about that right now! We have to go! Either that or everyone is DOOMED."  
  
Toulouse, who had joined Ron in the corner with the bottle, laughed. "Dun- dun-dun."  
  
"Doomed. . . rhymes with BOOMED. Go BOOM!" Ron yelled, swaying in his chair and falling on his face. "Oow."  
  
Toulouse began to snigger uncontrollably, " 'Won. . . 'Won. . ." He snorted. " 'WON GO BOOM!"  
  
Ron, not moving from the position he fell into, growled playfully at his lisping counterpart. "Yo' Mama!!"  
  
"My Mama? Where?"  
  
"It's not important," Hermione said, exhausted by the whole thing. "But what IS important is saving the world from evil."  
  
"So. . . we're like superhero's?" Christian asked, rubbing his head.  
  
Hermione blushed that he was talking to her. "Yeah. . ." she said.  
  
"I WANT A CAPE!" Ron shouted half-way across the room. He picked up the sheet previously worn by Zidler and tied it around his neck and ran around the room, pretending to flying. "I am the INCREDIBLE spork!"  
  
"Sure you are," Harry said. "Well we all can think of superhero names on the way, but right now we gotta hitchhike!"  
  
Satine forced a laugh. "Do we have to? I mean. . . there must be many other ways to reach this Lire. . ."  
  
"It's SHIRE!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Oh, don't tell me you're scared," Christian said, poking her in her stomach.  
  
"Of course I'm not," she said, crossing her arms over her waist. "I'm not scared of. . . of. . ."  
  
"She can't even say the wowd!" Toulouse yelled.  
  
"Yes I can!" she said, turning around.  
  
"I bet you can't," Harry said, glaring his eyes at her. "I bet you can't!"  
  
She looked up at them all, glancing her eyes over the crowd. "H-hit-" She turned away, her hands covering her eyes. "I just can't do it!"  
  
"Drama queen," Hermione mumbled, angrily looking at Christian comfort her.  
  
"Darling, it's ok," he said softly. "A lot of people are afraid of hitchhiking, it's a very normal thing. Atleast you're not like Toulouse who can't say 'R'."  
  
Satine sighed. "Oh Christian, you're right. You're always right."  
  
Toulouse looked down at his fingers. "That's what he thinks. 'The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plane. . ." He said perfectly, very quietly.  
  
"Oh, Christian," Satine said, clutching his hand.  
  
"Oh, Satine," Christian whispered, his eyes sparkling.  
  
"Oh, Brother," Harry said.  
  
"Oh, come on," Hermione scoffed.  
  
"Oh, say can you see by the dawns early night!" Ron squealed.  
  
"We're not American, Ron," Harry said, looking away from the couple making out.  
  
"We're NOT?!" he yelled. "Holy cheese, Batman!"  
  
"Hey Harry, I guess you found your superhero name," Hermione grumbled, angry at the couple making out.  
  
"But there is already a Batman and I. . . I was. . ."  
  
"What?" asked Hermione.  
  
"I was fond of. . ."  
  
"What, Harry?" she asked, moving closer.  
  
He murmured something under his breath.  
  
"What was that?" she asked.  
  
"HarrytheFairy!" he yelled, heaving. "It's my name on AOL instant messenger!"  
  
Hermione gasped. "But Harry, that's a MUGGLE device!"  
  
"I know! But I just can't help it!" he said. "It's so easy! The guy welcomes me and says: 'You've Got Mail'! And his voice just booms! It rings in my ears all day long. I just couldn't resist it!!"  
  
"Maybe they can suggest some great hitchhiking services!" Christian said.  
  
"Uh. . . I don't think they have-" Hermoine said, but was cut off by Harry.  
  
"The one's in France are Pete's Hitchhiking Network in Cahors and Tom's Hitch-n-hike, located in Paris!"  
  
"When we get back home, I'm cutting off your AOL membership," Hermione murmured.  
  
"Well, lets get this show on the road. Ron!" Harry called.  
  
"To the spork cave!" Ron shouted, his hand extended while dashing out the door. 


	6. Bling Bling

A/N- Sorry for such the delay! It seems that these always take a while. . . Hope it was worth the wait! If not, so sorry.  
  
Disclaimer- We do not own. Harry Potter or any other characters, Moulin Rouge characters, nor the Lord of the Rings characters who will make little cameos. We used the rhymes from 'The Princess Bride' at the end. Hope no one is offended.  
  
The Fellowship of the Harry Rouge ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------  
  
"Tom's Hitch-n-Hike," murmured Christian. "Well, we made it." They stood in front of a hut in the middle of the woods. It appeared to be carved right out of a large tree.  
  
"How strange and ironic that we had to hitchhike here so that we could hitchhike some more..." Hermione stated.  
  
Ron's head was spinning a bit, aching a bit, as the effects of the absinthe were wearing off and the effects of the high-heel in the face incident were getting stronger. "So... do we just knock?"  
  
"Wew, I supposs we bettew..." Toulouse thought aloud. "Or elwe we awe stuck hewe in the fowest."  
  
The rest of the group stifled laughter. What a phrase for a guy with a lisp! "Let's go, shall we?" Harry walked up to the door and rapped on it a few times.  
  
The door swung open, outwards, knocking Harry upside the face and making him fall into a puddle of mud. ("Oww, my scar," he called, seeking pity but not receiving any.)  
  
"Welcome, all to Tom's Hitch-n-Hike! We offer service you will like!" A smallish man sang. "My name is Tom, Tom Bombadil, I'll drive you anywhere, I will!"  
  
"Hey," whispered Ron, "he speaks in rhyme! I wonder if he does it all the time..."  
  
"Indeed my friends, I'll take you far, would you like to jump into my car?"  
  
Christian nodded. "Right. Suuure..." They all hopped into a 70's station wagon that was filled with plastic cups with Disney characters on them. Satine stood outside, looking apprehensive.  
  
"Christian... isn't there a better way? We could... we could take the Subway! Or... why are we even going? I don't think-"  
  
"WUSSIE!" called Hermione. Satine grumbled something about annoying little kids and climbed unhappily into the back seat with Christian.  
  
"Now, where are we going, good friends, where? Someplace far from here or there?" Tom sang as he pulled through an overgrown path that obviously hadn't been used for many years.  
  
"To the Shire in MIDDLE EARTH!" Harry announced proudly.  
  
"Bologna toolage..." whispered Ron.  
  
Tom squealed the tires and stopped the old car. The chain around Harry's neck jerked out of his shirt and the small man stared at it, his eyes becoming large as he rhymed, "Did you say Middle Earth, dear boy? That there trinket ain't a toy! Use it well, don't get in trouble, in Middle Earth all problems double! Don't fret, my lady, don't indeed, for TOM can handle all your needs. A purse to hide the jewelry in, and then a box and then a bin! No one will know, if it's hidden well, and it is, it is! Or my name's not Tom Bombadil!"  
  
"He was doing well with the rhyming until that last part. . ." Satine said behind her hand to Christian, who nodded fervently.  
  
"Did he call Harry a lady?" Ron asked Toulouse.  
  
"I think I have it safe enough, thank you," Harry said, sticking the ring back inside his shirt. "No one person yet has reached into my shirt in my entire life."  
  
Tom winked at him. "We've all had to at some point, I remember this one time, at a joint. . ."  
  
"Uh, leave that story for some other time, ok Thom?" Satine said, pronouncing 'Thom' just as it looks. "Just step on the gas right now."  
  
Christian put a hand on her shoulder. "Now Tini-kins, what did I tell you about making fun of people because they're short? Remember what happened the last time you did that?"  
  
She put her hand on her thigh and grimaced. "I still can't believe the little guy bit me!"  
  
"We may look easy pickin's but we've got some bite!" Toulouse sang loudly, turning around from the middle seats and baring his teeth.  
  
"Now Tini," Christian said again, "what do we PROPERLY call them?"  
  
She let out a large sigh. "Vertically impaired," she murmered, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Good girl," he said, patting her on the head.  
  
"Why don't we turn on the radio?" Harry suggested. No conflict there.  
  
"It doesn't work anymore," Tom said. "It's all because of this nasty whore. . ."  
  
"Hey!" Satine shouted.  
  
"I always sing to myself rather, and in the shower with some lather."  
  
"Can you sing for us?" Ron asked, leaning over the front seat.  
  
"Yeah, sing fow us?" Toulouse asked.  
  
Tom nodded, smiling. From somewhere, all around them a drum roll became louder and louder, and a guitar strummed.  
  
"Oh goodness. . ." Harry murmured, sinking further into her seat.  
  
"Put on your Yamaka its time for Chanukah!" Tom sang loud and proud. "So much funnaka to celebrate Chanukah!"  
  
"But it's mearly June!" Hermione said over the background noise.  
  
Tom just swayed his head as he drove. "Chanukah is the festival of lights. Instead of one day of presents we get eight. . . (Satine and Christian in the backseat echoed) CRAAAAAZY nights."  
  
"Last time, go!" Satine yelled happily, dancing with Christian in the back seat.  
  
"Tell the world-amanaka it's time to celebrate Chanukah!" They all sang out together. "It's not pronounced Ch-nakah, the 'C' is silent in Chanukah! So get your hooked on phonica! Get drunk in Tijuanaka! If you really really wannaka have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!"  
  
The music faded away and once again there was only the sound of the engine.  
  
"Maybe I'll think before I suggest something like that. . ." Harry said, straightening himself up.  
  
"Now, sir," Hermione said, leaning over Harry and speaking to their driver. She was appalled at what she saw. He sat on three very thick, very old textbooks - the one his bottom sat on was her favorite.  
  
She gasped. "Is that 'Hogwarts, a History' you're sitting on?! Do you know how hard that is to find that beloved book in this muggle countryside?"  
  
"Oh, you mean this old thing?" he asked, handing the book to her, his chin level with the steering wheel. "It cost me very little bling-bling."  
  
Hermione took it from him and slouched into the car seat, opening to the first page and started to read it.  
  
"Sir," Harry said, "how do you know about the ring. . . and the Shire. . . and-"  
  
"Bologna toolage?" Ron asked, leaning over the front seat.  
  
"Middle Earth," Harry said through gritted teeth. He turned back to Tom. "How do you know about all of those things?"  
  
"I know it all, it's in my shed." He lowered his voice and whispered, "That's also where I keep my dead."  
  
"We didn't need to know that. . ." Hermione said, closing her book. "If it's in your shed, why have you been driving us around?"  
  
"I get paid by the hour, and I haven't had a shower."  
  
"T.M.I., Tom. . . T.M.I.!" Ron said, holding his nose.  
  
"He has," Harry said. "He's been driving us around in circles! And make us listen to him singing about Chanukah. . ."  
  
"Let me hear some of that good-time music that I love to hear!" Satine sang loudly.  
  
"Well skinny-minnie's not scared anymore," Hermione noted, watching her sing and dance with Christian.  
  
Tom stepped on the gas, swerving around trees, shacks, and occasionally a woodland creature. He slammed on the breaks when they reached a rotting down shed and he unlocked the doors.  
  
"Here's your destination - I got you there! With the help of my lovely, trusty mare." He patted the dashboard of his car affectionately.  
  
"How much do we owe you?" Hermione asked, feeling this was more a cab service than a Hitch-n-Hike.  
  
Tom pointed to a sign in front of his steering wheel that had 350 in dark red numbers.  
  
"350?! For leading us around in circles and hitting a badger?!"  
  
"You're at Tom's, we don't take pounds! We use hobbit money, strange as that sounds!"  
  
Harry, grumbling about people who talk in third person, and reached into his pocket and gave him a few coins.  
  
"And remember. . . " Tom said, rolling down the window. "That is no ordinary ring you carry. It can make the whole world scary. Don't screw up, alright? You hear? Losing it's my greatest fear."  
  
And without another word, Tom disappeared. . . to the side of his house and ran back into his hut.  
  
"Ok, that was. . . weird."  
  
Ron put an arm around Toulouse. "Harry, he can. . . fuss."  
  
"I think he likes to scweam. . . at us!" Toulouse said, making a face at Harry's direction.  
  
"Probably he means no. . . harm."  
  
"He's vewy, vewy showt on chawm."  
  
Ron patted Toulouse's shoulder. "You have a great gift for rhyme."  
  
Toulouse nodded. "Yes, yes, some of the time."  
  
"Enough of that!" Harry said, opening the door to the shed.  
  
Ron crouched down on the ground and looked between Harry's feet at the inside of the shed. "Toulouse, are there rocks ahead?"  
  
The man with the lisp went down with him on the ground. "If thewe awe, we'll be dead!"  
  
Harry started to enter the shed, deciding he should be the first one to go through. "No more rhymes now, I mean it!"  
  
Ron dug deep into his pocket and retrieved a dusty legume. He blew on it and asked, "Anybody want a peanut?"  
  
"Aauuuggghhhhh!!!" Harry's scream of frustration echoed within the warp hole.  
  
-------------  
  
songs used: 'Little People' from Les Miserables  
  
'Hanukah Song' by Adam Sandler  
  
'Good Time Music' from the Brady Bunch 


End file.
